28th March 2012

Driving in Spain has been described to me as interesting.

We have had more than a few hairy moments on the road into Fuengirola. 

The nearest 'miss' was in a friends hire car on the road to Ronda, when a car overtook us on a blind corner, cut in front and then braked sharply.

Not so much a case of 'Help me Rhonda', as help me get to Ronda in one piece.

All the symptoms of mad car disease are there.

No lane discipline.

Overtaking when there is no view of the road ahead or oncoming traffic.

Tailgating.

Speeding.

But also double parking, stopping in traffic to chat to a friend on the road side or admire the view. 

It is contradictory

The handbook in our small, under powered car suggests that not every accident needs to be reported if it can be settled amicably between the parties involved.

Most cars bear the marks of such amicable solutions.

Following me must be irksome to other drivers because speed limits appear to have my name specifically attached to them, 20, 30 , 40 , 50 Kilometres an Hour, that means you Revd. Smith.

The new road has a 60 KPH speed limit again apparently with my name attached as it clearly does not apply to anyone else on the road.

Spanish number plates of course suggest local drivers, but not always, and some of the worst offenders are wearing British number plates. 

I have always thought I might get away with it if I could convince the police that I confused KPH with MPH.

However on this trip I am aware that if you are spotted speeding the first that might be known about it is when the car tax is renewed, at which point speeding fines can be added plus interest accrued.

So I have been unusually cautious and law abiding.

The high point of all this though came yesterday when we pulled out of the road leading from our urbanization and headed to Alhaurin.

Immediately there is a 40 KPH speed restriction leading into a roundabout, it is a single lane road.

When I looked to the left there were no cars in view, so I pulled out but almost instantly in my rear view mirror I saw that I was being tailgated.

The driver of the car was a young woman, she must have been travelling extremely quickly and hidden from view by the brow of a low rise in the carriageway.

At this point we were 100 metres from the roundabout, I started to slow down for the junction at which point she pulled out and started to overtake me, by now I was on the junction and entering the roundabout as there was no traffic from the left, the driver of the car then tried to undertake, then overtake and finally as  I signalled that I was heading to the right, swept by me on the inside at high speed and disappeared onto what the sat-nav calls, the third exit.

I was reminded of the story of the clergyman who died and went to heaven, he was kept waiting by St Peter who wasn't sure if they had a vacancy.

At that point a young woman arrived and was immediately welcomed by St Peter.

The clergyman remonstrated, I have served God all my life, etc. etc.

St Peter smiled, well he said, she was given a sports car for her 21st Birthday and in the two weeks she has been driving it she has put the fear of God into more people than you managed in your whole ministry ........