Malaga Airport is a very long shiny shed by the sea with air conditioning.
It is fairly close to another shiny shed called Ikea.
One shiny shed sells flat pack furniture, the other flat packs people into long shiny cylinders and transports them to distant places.
The Irishman waiting for the Aer Lingus flight to Dublin ordered a Bacardi and Coke, he tendered a fifty euro note, I guess because he lives in a eurozone country, unlike me, he wasn't hoping to dispense with his euros, but dispense with them he did.
Cursing the cost he picked up his tray from the bar counter and as he did so, the tray flexed, (was it an Ikea tray?) and the plastic glass with the ice slid sideways onto the floor, as he tried to catch it the Bacardi rolled in the opposite direction closely followed by the coke bottle, (try screwing the lid off that without getting a coke shower!)
As he scrabbled around on the floor for his Bacardi and his coke, the imprecations were just wonderfully scatological, he was obviously free associating as he went about his business of rescuing his drink.
Of course I helped, I picked up the coke as he retrieved the Bacardi, I said stirred not shaken!
It was offered as a form of condolence or homage to his poetic utterances, worthy almost of Mr Heaney himself.
It is marvellous how even swearing in Irish always takes the form of poetry or prayers.
The dogs were howling too as they were packed in their cages ready for their flights, at first we wondered if it was a dog show or one of those circuses, where dogs entertain by performing tricks, on and off small tables, climb up and slide down slides and, when not entertaining others, entertain themselves by smelling each others bottoms.
Then it was time to board our flight.
easyjet are a very efficient company. Our flight took off and landed on time. The flight was uneventful. The staff were efficient and hospitable. Whilst the passengers needing assistance were boarded last, we were reassured that seats had been reserved and that the staff were expecting us, and it was true.
So the last of the euros went on the wine, in Alhaurin 8.50 would have bought a case of six very drinkable bottles but on the flight it purchased two 1/4 bottles of a third rate Merlot, the palate cleanser, a miniature Gin and Tonic, paid for on a card, cost the same as a Litre bottle of Larios in the supermarket.
But Hey Ho!
We were heading home and very relaxed listening to Chuck Prophet and Temple Beautiful whilst reading Jo Nesbo both on the iPhone, the witchcraft that is apple!
I had to turn the volume up in order to drown out the sound of a student who couldn't stop talking as he recounted the marvelous experiences he had had on his trip to his two companions who presumably having shared them appeared not to need reminding, but who were too kind to ignore him or shut him up.
I got grumpy as old men do, but the in-house critic was altogether more kindly disposed and thought that his verbosity was possibly the result of nervousness, perhaps she suggested, he has a fear of flying.
So here we are again in the land of coalition Government.
David Cameron has attempted to enthuse his cabinet colleagues with his vision of the future of coalition government whilst a select committee has queried the Chancellors sums and criticised both his arithmetic and his strategy which has brought more people into the 40% rate whilst lifting some out of the 50% without, it seems, adequate regard for whether his sums add up.
That redoubtable institution the Menu del Dia is served in restaurants in Spain because the Government feels that each citizen has a right to a decent meal at a fair price, bit like school dinners for grown ups, and like pasty's tax is paid.
But what those who bemoan the granny tax are on about I don't know because when I got back I received my tax return, yes I got the age related allowance of £10500 but what no-one bothers to admit is that it is then reduced by the amount of the state pension, which means that my tax free allowance is less than £2000.
Its all smoke and mirrors.
Like balancing a Bacardi, a coke and a plastic glass with ice on a flexible tray.
Expletives deleted!
It is fairly close to another shiny shed called Ikea.
One shiny shed sells flat pack furniture, the other flat packs people into long shiny cylinders and transports them to distant places.
The Irishman waiting for the Aer Lingus flight to Dublin ordered a Bacardi and Coke, he tendered a fifty euro note, I guess because he lives in a eurozone country, unlike me, he wasn't hoping to dispense with his euros, but dispense with them he did.
Cursing the cost he picked up his tray from the bar counter and as he did so, the tray flexed, (was it an Ikea tray?) and the plastic glass with the ice slid sideways onto the floor, as he tried to catch it the Bacardi rolled in the opposite direction closely followed by the coke bottle, (try screwing the lid off that without getting a coke shower!)
As he scrabbled around on the floor for his Bacardi and his coke, the imprecations were just wonderfully scatological, he was obviously free associating as he went about his business of rescuing his drink.
Of course I helped, I picked up the coke as he retrieved the Bacardi, I said stirred not shaken!
It was offered as a form of condolence or homage to his poetic utterances, worthy almost of Mr Heaney himself.
It is marvellous how even swearing in Irish always takes the form of poetry or prayers.
The dogs were howling too as they were packed in their cages ready for their flights, at first we wondered if it was a dog show or one of those circuses, where dogs entertain by performing tricks, on and off small tables, climb up and slide down slides and, when not entertaining others, entertain themselves by smelling each others bottoms.
Then it was time to board our flight.
easyjet are a very efficient company. Our flight took off and landed on time. The flight was uneventful. The staff were efficient and hospitable. Whilst the passengers needing assistance were boarded last, we were reassured that seats had been reserved and that the staff were expecting us, and it was true.
So the last of the euros went on the wine, in Alhaurin 8.50 would have bought a case of six very drinkable bottles but on the flight it purchased two 1/4 bottles of a third rate Merlot, the palate cleanser, a miniature Gin and Tonic, paid for on a card, cost the same as a Litre bottle of Larios in the supermarket.
But Hey Ho!
We were heading home and very relaxed listening to Chuck Prophet and Temple Beautiful whilst reading Jo Nesbo both on the iPhone, the witchcraft that is apple!
I had to turn the volume up in order to drown out the sound of a student who couldn't stop talking as he recounted the marvelous experiences he had had on his trip to his two companions who presumably having shared them appeared not to need reminding, but who were too kind to ignore him or shut him up.
I got grumpy as old men do, but the in-house critic was altogether more kindly disposed and thought that his verbosity was possibly the result of nervousness, perhaps she suggested, he has a fear of flying.
So here we are again in the land of coalition Government.
David Cameron has attempted to enthuse his cabinet colleagues with his vision of the future of coalition government whilst a select committee has queried the Chancellors sums and criticised both his arithmetic and his strategy which has brought more people into the 40% rate whilst lifting some out of the 50% without, it seems, adequate regard for whether his sums add up.
That redoubtable institution the Menu del Dia is served in restaurants in Spain because the Government feels that each citizen has a right to a decent meal at a fair price, bit like school dinners for grown ups, and like pasty's tax is paid.
But what those who bemoan the granny tax are on about I don't know because when I got back I received my tax return, yes I got the age related allowance of £10500 but what no-one bothers to admit is that it is then reduced by the amount of the state pension, which means that my tax free allowance is less than £2000.
Its all smoke and mirrors.
Like balancing a Bacardi, a coke and a plastic glass with ice on a flexible tray.
Expletives deleted!
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