21st July 2011

Some years ago I entered a Haiku competition.

It was sponsored by Sunderland City Council to celebrate the opening of the Nissan Factory.

My Haiku read:

Fuji on Wearside
The sound of one hand clapping

Greets the first Nissan

After posting my entry I waited but I heard nothing, so after a while, thinking that it might be nice to visit the Kite Festival and enjoy the Sushi Buffet, whilst collecting my prize, I rang to enquire what had happened.

Oh, said the young lady who answered the 'phone there was only one entry to the Haiku Competition, it was terrible, so we cancelled that event.

Watching the news these past few days my attention has been focused not so much on the events at News International or in the select committee but on the growing evidence of what I can only think of as 'product placement'.

Every time a Murdoch arrives or leaves, either in Heathrow, Wapping or Westminster they are pictured arriving in a Range Rover.

So far I have seen a Red one, a Grey one, a Silver one and a Black one and then a somewhat resigned looking policeman was also filmed arriving ..... in a Range Rover.

There are still a few colour choices remaining, green, brown, sand, teal and a fetching blue but choice of colour aside the implication is clear if you are in a tight situation and you want to make a sharp but dignified exit then the vehicle of choice is, can indeed only be, a Range Rover.

Its tough exterior will protect you from the British climate the rain, snow, hail, flooding in other words our typical July weather, and its four wheel drive will ensure that you always have traction as you race from one meeting to another around the tough streets of the Capital and it will offer protection from paper plates full of foam 'custard' pies'.

I don't imagine that News International will be running a Haiku Competition to celebrate their recent public travails but nevertheless and with due apologies to Basho the most celebrated writer of Haiku:

If you're in a fix

And you must exit Wapping

only the Range Rover (will hack it)