14th November 2012

Tomorrow we are invited to elect a police and crime commissioner.

I want to make the bizzies busier

I'm the police and crime commissioner

My aim in life is to ensure that in time

The punishments fit the crime

I want to make the bizzies busier

I want to keep the police on their toes

Ensure that everyone knows

That I've done my job not just on paper

So everyone feels that bit safer

I want to make the bizzies busier

It's not the crime the general public fear

It's the fear of crime getting nearer

I'm not just here to give the police a job

I'm here to find openings for every yob

I want to make the bizzies busier

After all no one needs to fear

I must show I'm earning my £85k a year

But look at my title more closely

Sure I'll work with the police mostly

But I'm also here to commission crime

So how best to use my time

Keeping the bizzies busy and keen

Like the famous Dixon of Dock Green                  

Not enough to do lads no one to arrest

Well funny you say maybe it's best

I want to make the bizzies busier

I've arranged a little taking and driving away

That should keep you busy today

Then tomorrow I've commissioned

A victimless crime I’m on a mission

I want to make the bizzies busier

For the PM who feels misquoted

I wasn't elected 'cos no one voted

But I won't let that stop me making the bizzies busier

I'm the commissioner for police and crime

So now I've started let me do my time